Building a Foundation of Body Awareness
From a young age, children are taught to identify and name parts of their body, from their nose to their toes. This daily learning is essential as it “allows the child to build a global representation of their body,” explains Fanta Sissoko, a conjugal and family counselor in Paris. This practice aligns with the objectives of the Program for Education in Affective and Relational Life (EVAR), taught from nursery school and in effect since 2025, which includes “knowing one’s body” and “understanding what intimacy is.”
The Problem with Pet Names
However, not all body parts are treated equally. While anatomical terms are used naturally for hands or legs, childish nicknames like “zizi,” “kiki,” “zézette,” or “minette” are often substituted for sexual organs. Experts argue that while teaching children about their bodies is vital, naming them correctly with precise terms is equally important.
During her EVAR interventions, Fanta Sissoko prefers using anatomical terms, which she finds more “neutral.” “Kiki or zizi can complicate understanding for some children, whereas if we speak of penis, vulva, or vagina, it’s very clear and also allows the child to be comfortable with this vocabulary,” she states.
Appropriation and Protection
Psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and anthropologist Daniel Delanoë emphasizes that teaching children the exact terms for their sexual organs is crucial. It “allows them to be the owner, to appropriate them. If we don’t tell them the name of these body parts, it’s somewhat a way of depriving them of them.”
Knowing one’s body is also a way to learn to protect one’s intimacy. In the reference book C’est MON corps! by Mai Lan Chapiron, published in 2024, the author explains what intimate parts are and stresses, “Your intimate parts are yours and yours alone,” developing concepts of consent and bodily autonomy.
“To signify a prohibition, you must tell the child that no one has the right to touch them on these body parts, and it’s very important that they are well named,” underscores Delanoë. He adds, “It’s considering the child as a responsible interlocutor, even at 3, 5, or 10 years old… as a person who knows what their body is and what can be done to it or not. It’s part of respecting the child and a way to protect them.”
A Tool for Disclosure and Credibility
With at least 160,000 children suffering sexual violence each year in France—one child every three minutes—teaching young children to identify their intimate parts can help them report abuse. “When a child suffers an aggression like that, they don’t understand. They can’t make sense of what is happening to them. Having a certain vocabulary can allow them to process what is happening,” explains Fanta Sissoko.
“When the child is aggressed on these body parts, it’s important that they can name and describe the aggression with precise terms,” agrees Daniel Delanoë. “When these words are used, they know what it really corresponds to.”
There is also the crucial issue of receiving and respecting the child’s word. Teaching them to identify their body with exact terms can give them a tool to make their speech more precise, better heard, and strengthen their self-confidence.
“If we have already addressed them as a person, the child will think their word will carry more weight. They won’t be infantilized if we tell them the right words. And if you are infantilized, you are less credible,” observes the psychotherapist. It is also a way to signify that their word counts.
“During EVAR interventions, we also address the fact that children, if faced with situations that question them, can always talk to an adult. That they know there are adults who are there and can also help them, who are ready to listen to them. That makes the difference,” estimates Fanta Sissoko.
